求RP爆发

It seems tomorrow is the make or break point. When you know a great thing may happen and all the hard work may finally be paid off. And it all depends on how you perform tomorrow. *Nerve Break DOWN*

I miss runway

and I don't think that I will never have another chance to do it ever again. Time to admit that the youth is slipping away

So easy. Simply so easy

It takes just a minute to ruin a perfect night. We were having a great dinner and laughing. Suddenly everything turned to a huge fight. I didn't even remember how it started. Why people have to say harsh things they are angry. why it is so easy to lose control. All the sorries and apologies seem so useless when the damage is already done. It takes just a minute to ruin a perfect night. How many horrible nights it takes to ruin a perfect relationship, or a perfect life? Why hurt the people you love.

Russia

Russia has always been a mysterious country to me. When I was little, I remember being in a Russian city on the Russia-China boarder. That was my first time ever visiting another country. The weird black bread, beautiful Russian girls, tall and strong and unfriendly Russian guys. Until I had my first facebook Russian friend - an amazing designer in Project Runway. I can't believe the small the world is and how much people can connect to each other. Until I had my first Russian professor. The accent is just cute and Russian men all have weird sense of humor - in a good way. Until I had my first Russian Colleague this year. Even I booked the Russian Flight tickets to go back home. I don't why I suddenly have so many Russian connections. I so wanna travel around the world now.

几年前的某些事让我觉得 有时候一个陌生人反而比一个好朋友值得信任。


最近学什么都是trade-off: Parameter和performance，K-NN到底选什么k.
想想生活 living和dream的trade-off.
年轻人应该旅行 还是 安安稳稳

都说老了之后 很多人后悔自己曾经忽略平淡中的美
如果已经习惯并且享受了平淡呢

trust in love

I believe in true love. I don't mean those big unrealistic romantic love, not everyone can experience great love, most of us would just have a peaceful but fulfilling love with someone that can spend a life with you. He / She doesn't has to be perfect, doesn't has to be rich or smart, doesn't has to be super sensitive, doesn't has to be saying i love you all the time. Actually we just need someone to laugh with, someone to cuddle when it's cold, someone to depend on when we are sick.
It's not that hard.
So Yes I believe in love. I believe love can last forever and true love waits.
I will never lose that faith just because I was hurt before. I did, more than once. maybe I will again. but love itself is a faith. A person should be strong enough to love again.
Believing in love is actually believing in yourself. believing that we are lovable as we are so amazing.

trust in love

Realistic?

I am not a realistic person. there I say it, so let's drop it.I am not a career-oriented person too, so please don't keep talking to have a career goal. they say love hurts, but this is the only thing keeps me going. Whenever I think about love, it gives me strength to face everything. even love failed once or twice, I don't give up and think about being tough and never let anyone hurt me again. This is just not me.I believe in true happiness happens only if you put your heart and soul into something.Holding back is not an option.

Big Bug

Job hunting is a pain in the ass. Everyone knows it. Rejections and respondless applications will eventually make you feel hopeless.
I feel like that I am searching for job since forever. Internships, internships, full time jobs, and then internships now again. I don't know why I need to keep myself busy, I can't stand a summer without a job. I guess I am really realistic and always worrying about the future.

A few days earlier I finally got something out of nothing, a low-paid writing part time job but at least it is a start. The boss called me and said “I kind of like that you keep bugging me." Well , I guess I am a big bug. Yun used to hate me for keeping calling his phone until he picked up. If he forgot his phone somewhere overnight and never answered it, I may just keep calling for 100 times until the phone battery died. Same here, if i see a job opportunity comes up, I keep emailing to get the attention.

I call myself paranoid android for a reason.

Its good in a way but bad in a million ways. I only I only bug people when I feel insecure. I remember when I was doing the trading job back then, if I didnt get the confirmation I may ring the broker all the way until I got what I wanted. I cant be fooled or played around. I need answers, I need to know my loved one is ok, I need to feel safe. I always try so hard. maybe too hard.

chill, relax.
I will but only after i get it.

I NEED A JOBBBBB. *finger crossed*

Rest In Peace

She suddenly left us last night. without a sign.

Is it some kind of punishment?

Teacher

I never thought I could be a teacher. well in fact, I am one now.
Its weird in the beginning, as I know my patience is quite limited. Also I dont like public presentation, I get panic all the time.
But i am doing surprisingly well. Its weird, too.
Coming to Morgantown may be a right choice. I feel good about myself. I mean seriously, I have never been so confident before.

But given a second thought, I have nothing to be proud of. I am older - all my fellow TAs are at least 1 year younger. I have been studying statistics for years - I dont see a point of being happy about doing good in something that I already knew.

As of teaching, I guess sometimes we just have to pretend that we are really teachers.

I feel myself slowly losing passion. I can settle for a boring job, I can stand a life without going out for years, I am living in a small town with no close friends.

I miss Singapore so much. But I guess no life is perfect. We just have to have faith - that a better tomorrow is coming.

IMMORTAL BELOVED

I first got to know Beethoven's love letters through , you know, like everyone, Carrie.
ever thine
ever mine
ever ours

Until just now, I read it again. Its way too beautiful. Love is most perfect when 2 people cannot have each other. Who still write love letters if they are going through real life - all those little fussy stuff every day, grocery shopping, laundry, house keeping, paying the bills, discussions, misunderstanding, ignorance. People tend to forget how great love is after they actually have it all.

Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.

I am my own religion

I never thought I was a strong person. I think I am just someone who can deal with my own problems. I cry when I want, I dont think thats a sign of being weak. But I never depress. I have my family, my dear friends and myself to hold me up together.

I dont mean to be offensive to anyone by saying I don't believe in religion. I don't know whether God exists. I don't dare to say anything about God. Sometimes I go to temples and pray too. But no I am not religious. I believe this is a private thing, like your true love to your lover. Only yourself understands how it is like and how much you appreciate the affection. It's true that people want to share the joy and happiness for a kind purpose, but it's just too much. Over sharing your love to your God and over helping others are like to upload photos of you and your lover kissing to Facebook.

It's too public to be holy. At least to me.

That's just what I am thinking. Sometimes I do feel blessed (or lucky i guess) and I am thankful and cherishing what I have now. But I also believe it is not a sin to be not religious. I should be getting what I deserve as long as I am a good person. And I will survive whatever difficulties ahead of me as long as I am tough and brave.