I feeling like I am on the move all the time for the past 9 years.
From one dorm to another dorm, from one apartment to another apartment, from one country to another country.
I bet young people are like this. We desire freedom, we don't want to settle down. Or simply not ready to commit.
Its Christmas again. New year was once meant to be holiday, good food and hongbao. Now it means much more : a lot of friends in my age are getting married, and quite a few of them chose to do it during holiday season. Which is now.
Photos are all over the place. The smiles on the couple's faces, the beautiful lineup of the bridesmaids, the big white wedding cake and wedding dress.
I feel so happy for them, everything seems perfect - at the same time - same.
I couldn't help but wonder (since when I started to sound like Carrie...) what kind of wedding I will have. Or to be more exact, what kind of wedding I want to have. Then I realize I am even not sure whether I actually would like to have a wedding or not. I do fancy of getting married, being with the man i love for the rest of my life. BUT I hate the idea of wedding. In some sense I feel like Miranda.
You know, some "wise" person once advised the girls that NEVER IMAGINE/DREAM/WISH THAT YOU ARE ONE OF THE CHARACTERS IN SEX AND THE CITY. Well I believe either this is a guy who does not understand women at all or this is a woman who is really fake or never actually watched SEX and the CITY. We never hope to be like the girls in Sex and the City, we really ARE one of them. The whole drama talked about 5 kind of women: sexy, emotional and complicated Carrie, smart, powerful and independent Miranda, self-centered, open and wild Samantha, traditional, forever seeking for true love and good mother Charlotte, and the other women. (LOL) if you are not those " the other women" who are brainless and never think about what happiness is, you must fall in one or more of the categories. Basically I would say every single woman has some of the 4 all together deep down inside.
What is funny is : those 4 women seldom move. They just stay in their favorite city NYC forever. But as time went by, in the 2 movies after the drama, they started to travel. actually a lot of big decisions were made while they were travelling. I do believe its good to move every now and then. A never-changing life numb people, so its hard to see things clear. As you move, you start to reorganize your life, thinking about where is the best destination. You know to get rid of the redundant stuff to save trouble, and you start to realize what is the most important in your life that you have to keep it with you wherever you go.
Its a damn long blog as I keep talking about nonsense. To summarize, I am moving again this weekend to an apartment bigger than all places that I have ever lived. There will be me, a man and a cat. Time to pack.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Saturday, December 17, 2011
attached
its dangerous when you are emotionally attached to something, or someone.
We have all been there. only when you are not feeling insecure, then you know you are in the right place, you are with the right one.
For some reason, i have to send my little baby kitten away for a few days and its killing me. Although sometimes he can be such a bad kid, poop everywhere, jump onto the table and knock down the dishes, give you scratches, etc. But i love him. its weird i am so attached to a cat that i only adopted less than 2months ago.
I dont know what else cant really leave us. everything can, everyone one can.
as the ball of emotions rolls, as more friends we have, more attached we are.
Hope time will heal and all we have to do is to remember the great memories and looking forward for a reunion.
Well, I say it. Im just saying.
We have all been there. only when you are not feeling insecure, then you know you are in the right place, you are with the right one.
For some reason, i have to send my little baby kitten away for a few days and its killing me. Although sometimes he can be such a bad kid, poop everywhere, jump onto the table and knock down the dishes, give you scratches, etc. But i love him. its weird i am so attached to a cat that i only adopted less than 2months ago.
I dont know what else cant really leave us. everything can, everyone one can.
as the ball of emotions rolls, as more friends we have, more attached we are.
Hope time will heal and all we have to do is to remember the great memories and looking forward for a reunion.
Well, I say it. Im just saying.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
dream
If you tell me your dream is to work in wall street. I will say nothing but laugh.
If you tell me your dream is to have your own portfolio and be good at it. I will say nothing but respect that.
If you tell me your dream is to live happily without worrying about money. being banker is just a job. I will give you a big smile and say "i understand".
If you tell me your dream is to have your own portfolio and be good at it. I will say nothing but respect that.
If you tell me your dream is to live happily without worrying about money. being banker is just a job. I will give you a big smile and say "i understand".
Friday, October 21, 2011
choice
its been a tough week. a lot of struggles and nightmares.
Its never easy to make a big decision. I am still not sure whether i am doing the right thing. but i guess good or bad, everything we do is our best choice that that moment.
All those complications. all those worries. all those what-ifs.
Just when you think something that can never happen to you, it happened.
I know my decision changed my life forever, yea its that big. But i have to do it. I have to do it fast. I cant stand another day just sitting there and thinking what i should do.
Then i heard about my grandma's surgery. Its just another upset thing in this week. great. Saturday is crucial. I need to go through the toughest part in order to move on. but i dunno how painful it will be , and how emotional i will get after that.
Then I think about the blind lady in the bus. maybe my life is 100 times better hers already. this small change shouldnt make me so down while she is smiling all the time.
I should be brave. I shouldnt be scared . Everyone can do it so can I .
I will be there and get it done. what i have lost, is something that we can never see, never get to know, or forever regret about .
But i guess we have to stick to the plan. There are prices to pay.
I love you. Please forgive me.
Its never easy to make a big decision. I am still not sure whether i am doing the right thing. but i guess good or bad, everything we do is our best choice that that moment.
All those complications. all those worries. all those what-ifs.
Just when you think something that can never happen to you, it happened.
I know my decision changed my life forever, yea its that big. But i have to do it. I have to do it fast. I cant stand another day just sitting there and thinking what i should do.
Then i heard about my grandma's surgery. Its just another upset thing in this week. great. Saturday is crucial. I need to go through the toughest part in order to move on. but i dunno how painful it will be , and how emotional i will get after that.
Then I think about the blind lady in the bus. maybe my life is 100 times better hers already. this small change shouldnt make me so down while she is smiling all the time.
I should be brave. I shouldnt be scared . Everyone can do it so can I .
I will be there and get it done. what i have lost, is something that we can never see, never get to know, or forever regret about .
But i guess we have to stick to the plan. There are prices to pay.
I love you. Please forgive me.
Friday, October 7, 2011
Another busy week just ended
Exam + Homework + Teaching + Grading.
Typical busy week of a TA.
These 2 years will be such an experience for me. Life is never bored.
Sometimes I really feel that I hate teaching so much. I had to drag myself to the classroom and tried my very best to stay calm and passionate. But sometimes when you see you did get to help a student to understand stuff, you did make an impact by delivering the message in a good way, you will see what you do is actually meaningful.
Meaningful - this is something that I cannot feel for the entire year when i was working. Student's smile can light up your day, a student's frustration can make you feel down too.
I like to help those kids who care. and I hate to go to the lab that most of them are not listening. But as long as there is one person who is still paying attention, i guess i should just hold on and do the best i can.
Typical busy week of a TA.
These 2 years will be such an experience for me. Life is never bored.
Sometimes I really feel that I hate teaching so much. I had to drag myself to the classroom and tried my very best to stay calm and passionate. But sometimes when you see you did get to help a student to understand stuff, you did make an impact by delivering the message in a good way, you will see what you do is actually meaningful.
Meaningful - this is something that I cannot feel for the entire year when i was working. Student's smile can light up your day, a student's frustration can make you feel down too.
I like to help those kids who care. and I hate to go to the lab that most of them are not listening. But as long as there is one person who is still paying attention, i guess i should just hold on and do the best i can.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Sick of this
I am sick of people complaining.
If you want something, go and get it.
If you want to come to the states, then get your head down and start to prepare yourself.
If you want a good job, learn more and send resumes with a good attitude.
If you want a relationship, don't let your chance go by.
You are not that excellent, why you expect you are the center of the world and you can get whatever you want. living in your own little world may make you unique, but cannot make you adaptable. There is a REAL world out there, money wont come easy, job wont come easy, good friends wont come easy. Passion cannot be the only tool.
stop complaining and do something. please.
If you want something, go and get it.
If you want to come to the states, then get your head down and start to prepare yourself.
If you want a good job, learn more and send resumes with a good attitude.
If you want a relationship, don't let your chance go by.
You are not that excellent, why you expect you are the center of the world and you can get whatever you want. living in your own little world may make you unique, but cannot make you adaptable. There is a REAL world out there, money wont come easy, job wont come easy, good friends wont come easy. Passion cannot be the only tool.
stop complaining and do something. please.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
not important
Sometimes you are just not that important.
suck it up and get over it.
you want his full attention but in the end you should be already happy if you can get 50%.
who you really are, what is on your mind? no one give a damn. so get a life.
I don't want to be the one always trying and saying sorry.
Yes everyone can make mistakes. Everyone may over-react.
But I deserve to be heard.
if a problem is not solved, it will be there forever.
Why guys always have this serious communication problem? They say women are weird but if you never say , how can you expect us to understand what you mean.
We may talk a lot, it's just because you never listen, never respond.
as if what we were saying is not important at all.
suck it up and get over it.
you want his full attention but in the end you should be already happy if you can get 50%.
who you really are, what is on your mind? no one give a damn. so get a life.
I don't want to be the one always trying and saying sorry.
Yes everyone can make mistakes. Everyone may over-react.
But I deserve to be heard.
if a problem is not solved, it will be there forever.
Why guys always have this serious communication problem? They say women are weird but if you never say , how can you expect us to understand what you mean.
We may talk a lot, it's just because you never listen, never respond.
as if what we were saying is not important at all.
Work or Study
If you ask me the differences between now and one year ago:
1) I am much poorer.
2) I am living in a better apartment
3) I wake up at 8 instead of 6
4) I used to shop every week. This is not true any more.
5) Every day is a presentation day now. AWWWWW
1) I am much poorer.
2) I am living in a better apartment
3) I wake up at 8 instead of 6
4) I used to shop every week. This is not true any more.
5) Every day is a presentation day now. AWWWWW
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Just another ordinary day
out of suddenly , i found how lucky i am .
we were relaxing at home in this saturday afternoon while people camping outside of our window for the big game day. I find a quiet place in my heart.
I am blessed to have what i have now. I know how hard these 3 years were and how hard we fight to get here. I went to all these troubles and flied from the other side of the earth to start the life i have now. it is going good and i dont want to screw it up.
I am still learning how to handle everything. just give me a little bit more time.
we were relaxing at home in this saturday afternoon while people camping outside of our window for the big game day. I find a quiet place in my heart.
I am blessed to have what i have now. I know how hard these 3 years were and how hard we fight to get here. I went to all these troubles and flied from the other side of the earth to start the life i have now. it is going good and i dont want to screw it up.
I am still learning how to handle everything. just give me a little bit more time.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Lovely days
I can always put a smile on my face.
I can always feel happy. because there is something exciting going on.
as long as I don't over think of it.
I won't ever ask for more than that.
I can always feel happy. because there is something exciting going on.
as long as I don't over think of it.
I won't ever ask for more than that.
detour
just about when you thought you know what is going on. just about when you thought you get everything under control. just about when you thought you got perfect balance.
there must be something that get you totally unprepared.
You try to hold it but its just not easy.
there must be something that get you totally unprepared.
You try to hold it but its just not easy.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
on the road
There are so many beautiful views on the road. sometimes you just wanna stop and have a long stay. but afterall, you need to know where you are heading to, where is your destination.
Monday, June 27, 2011
farewell is for a better reunion
I understand this more today.
today an ex-colleague came back to office. once i thought i can never saw her again. at least not so soon. re-union is wonderful, we get to share jokes in office, refresh wonderful memories together and hang out.
The future is uncertain, who knows when and where there will be a reunion, the surprise is possibly just around the corner.
goodbye my friends. May the next time we meet be amazing, as we are all having a different life, a better life and we have so much to share.
today an ex-colleague came back to office. once i thought i can never saw her again. at least not so soon. re-union is wonderful, we get to share jokes in office, refresh wonderful memories together and hang out.
The future is uncertain, who knows when and where there will be a reunion, the surprise is possibly just around the corner.
goodbye my friends. May the next time we meet be amazing, as we are all having a different life, a better life and we have so much to share.
Monday, May 16, 2011
this is it.
I realized something today.
I never gonna be great in financial industry. not because I don't like it,just my personality will always get in the way.
I cannot be a business woman as well. My heart is not hard enough.
the world is about money, you cannot bring too much emotion in it. when you finds out, everyone else is just careless and selfish, you will either get hurt or get screwed.
Don't wanna get screwed? then you must screw others, and be faster.
I never would think i can even be emotional as an ops. I mean, it is really none of my business. But I do freakin care.
I am not working for a charity right now, but i hope one day I will.
I never gonna be great in financial industry. not because I don't like it,just my personality will always get in the way.
I cannot be a business woman as well. My heart is not hard enough.
the world is about money, you cannot bring too much emotion in it. when you finds out, everyone else is just careless and selfish, you will either get hurt or get screwed.
Don't wanna get screwed? then you must screw others, and be faster.
I never would think i can even be emotional as an ops. I mean, it is really none of my business. But I do freakin care.
I am not working for a charity right now, but i hope one day I will.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
The Great 90s
there was a time, great pop singers were appreciated. thats the time when i was a teenager, when i was just about to grow up.
there was a time, great movies were made. not much fancy effect or music, people were just trying to tell classic story.
Its been a week of 90s for me.
Pride and prejudice
Sense and sensitivity
the young colin firth
the young hugh grant.
Michael Jackson
Backstreet Boys
Aaron Carter....etc etc
I got all distracted from my CXX book....damn it.
what a lovely era. So proud that I was there in the 90s.
there was a time, great movies were made. not much fancy effect or music, people were just trying to tell classic story.
Its been a week of 90s for me.
Pride and prejudice
Sense and sensitivity
the young colin firth
the young hugh grant.
Michael Jackson
Backstreet Boys
Aaron Carter....etc etc
I got all distracted from my CXX book....damn it.
what a lovely era. So proud that I was there in the 90s.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Powerful
90min facial treatment + massage after work yesterday.
its so nice.
The life of a normal OL: dress up, work, afterwork, dinner, shop and be pretty.
I have this life for one year. after leaving this place, there wont be any facials, wont be any shopping malls, wont be any pretty work dresses, wont be any crazy calls to the banks.
Blair wanted to be powerful before being with her loved one. I think i just skipped the first step.
But I feel powerful. more than ever. at least as powerful as fearless.
well...acually you dont have to say it to prove that you are powerful.
shit.
its so nice.
The life of a normal OL: dress up, work, afterwork, dinner, shop and be pretty.
I have this life for one year. after leaving this place, there wont be any facials, wont be any shopping malls, wont be any pretty work dresses, wont be any crazy calls to the banks.
Blair wanted to be powerful before being with her loved one. I think i just skipped the first step.
But I feel powerful. more than ever. at least as powerful as fearless.
well...acually you dont have to say it to prove that you are powerful.
shit.
Hugh
I have this crush on Hugh Grant these days and I watched almost all of his movies over and over again. Someone commented that he acted the similar roles all the time: charming and funny guy in love comedy. This is true.
Why actors have to take different kinds of part. Whats wrong with him doing the same stuff he likes and he is good at?
Hugh himself said he was not serious about acting. it is just some job he happened to fall for. He himself didnt understand why he was popular.
That is the attitude.
Why so serious?
oh I love Hugh Grant.
Why actors have to take different kinds of part. Whats wrong with him doing the same stuff he likes and he is good at?
Hugh himself said he was not serious about acting. it is just some job he happened to fall for. He himself didnt understand why he was popular.
That is the attitude.
Why so serious?
oh I love Hugh Grant.
Monday, April 18, 2011
NIL
myles kennedy has the greatest voice I have ever heard. it is sad to see that alterbridge does not have a larger fan base, our generation has lost its sense of what talented artists sound like. this is what music is all about people
Sunday, April 3, 2011
My wish today
I feel terrible.
about the shitty situation. and why this is happening to these wonderful people.
I hope I can change something. I hope I can make the situation better.
wish there is anything I can do.
about the shitty situation. and why this is happening to these wonderful people.
I hope I can change something. I hope I can make the situation better.
wish there is anything I can do.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Saturday, February 19, 2011
You are the one II
watched this movie yesterday. it said every marriage is a mistake, the difference is that whether you wanna keep the mistake going and live it.
I dont really agree on this. if it is a mistake anyway, why we have to do it.
in the end we just wanna find someone to spend the life with, so we wont die alone.
so, as long as i dun hate being with this person, then no harm doing it.
but if so, whats the difference from being a bunch of friends.
The passion wont be there forever. I know it. not a big deal .
I am emotional nowadays. guess ppl are like this when they are at some changing point.
I remember how it felt when watching the last episode of FRIENDS.
I just miss the time that we were hanging out together all the time . I guess nothing can last forever.
Looking forward to the reunions. there will be a lot of them. I believe there will .
I dont really agree on this. if it is a mistake anyway, why we have to do it.
in the end we just wanna find someone to spend the life with, so we wont die alone.
so, as long as i dun hate being with this person, then no harm doing it.
but if so, whats the difference from being a bunch of friends.
The passion wont be there forever. I know it. not a big deal .
I am emotional nowadays. guess ppl are like this when they are at some changing point.
I remember how it felt when watching the last episode of FRIENDS.
I just miss the time that we were hanging out together all the time . I guess nothing can last forever.
Looking forward to the reunions. there will be a lot of them. I believe there will .
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Alone in the house
All my roommates were off to China today. i am alone in the house.
I feel empty, and a little bit scared.
I guess i am not a loner, never. I sometimes do enoy being alone, having little time with myself and hate the sounds and behaviors of others. But yet, I still wish there are people around whenever I wish I was not alone.
I once stayed in a single room by myself. I sometimes was paranoid that there was someone hiding in the closet and that scared the hell out of me.
The secret of overcominng it is to sleep only when you are really tired, and you will fall asleep before you start to think of those nonsense.
Thats exactly what I am gonna do now.
I feel empty, and a little bit scared.
I guess i am not a loner, never. I sometimes do enoy being alone, having little time with myself and hate the sounds and behaviors of others. But yet, I still wish there are people around whenever I wish I was not alone.
I once stayed in a single room by myself. I sometimes was paranoid that there was someone hiding in the closet and that scared the hell out of me.
The secret of overcominng it is to sleep only when you are really tired, and you will fall asleep before you start to think of those nonsense.
Thats exactly what I am gonna do now.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Fear
I listened to Rock music, I watched American drama, I took a shower, I made myself a cup of fruit tea.
The fear is still there. it refuses to go away.
I am not afraid of losing you, I am afraid of you.
Or i am just afraid that in the end you would break my heart.
I don't know your life and you don't know mine.
what is worse, is the deadly silence. I cant see you, I cant feel you, and now I even cant hear you.
Oh God I need to talk. Hanging up that phone made me exhausted.
I just hope tomorrow is better than today.
But when will this end.
The fear is still there. it refuses to go away.
I am not afraid of losing you, I am afraid of you.
Or i am just afraid that in the end you would break my heart.
I don't know your life and you don't know mine.
what is worse, is the deadly silence. I cant see you, I cant feel you, and now I even cant hear you.
Oh God I need to talk. Hanging up that phone made me exhausted.
I just hope tomorrow is better than today.
But when will this end.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
wants
When I was in primary school, I was described as "shy".
When I was in junior middle school, I was described as "nice", "smart" and "easy going"
When I was in senior middle school, I was described as "quiet" and "self imposed" (totally weird)
When I was in university, I was described as "passionate" (by Chinese friends) and "helpful and always smiling" (by dear hall mates)
always wondering what kind of person I am and what i want.
Recenly I watched a few movies on the growing-up stuff. It feels stupid that I realized I still donno what I want for my life, where my passion is. and Now i am 24, graduated from college and a working adult.
it seems my life is just pathetic as those in the movies.
I am just pathetic as those normal people without dreams.
They always say dreams are the most important things in life, you have to go for it, and then your life is complete.
Qi said I like to keep myself busy. Yes I want to make my life fulfilling.
Yes I do not have an actual goal, but I just wish I can get something every day, no matter its a good time with friends, a movie that makes me cry, some random thoughts come to my mind when i am on train, one hour relax time doing yoga or dancing, a delicious dish I cook for myself or a sweet phonecall to the people I love.
All those little tiny things build up my life. I guess my dream is just to keep living it. as much as I can. laugh more, cry less. enjoy more, stress less. have faith more, doubt less.
When I was in junior middle school, I was described as "nice", "smart" and "easy going"
When I was in senior middle school, I was described as "quiet" and "self imposed" (totally weird)
When I was in university, I was described as "passionate" (by Chinese friends) and "helpful and always smiling" (by dear hall mates)
always wondering what kind of person I am and what i want.
Recenly I watched a few movies on the growing-up stuff. It feels stupid that I realized I still donno what I want for my life, where my passion is. and Now i am 24, graduated from college and a working adult.
it seems my life is just pathetic as those in the movies.
I am just pathetic as those normal people without dreams.
They always say dreams are the most important things in life, you have to go for it, and then your life is complete.
Qi said I like to keep myself busy. Yes I want to make my life fulfilling.
Yes I do not have an actual goal, but I just wish I can get something every day, no matter its a good time with friends, a movie that makes me cry, some random thoughts come to my mind when i am on train, one hour relax time doing yoga or dancing, a delicious dish I cook for myself or a sweet phonecall to the people I love.
All those little tiny things build up my life. I guess my dream is just to keep living it. as much as I can. laugh more, cry less. enjoy more, stress less. have faith more, doubt less.
Friday, January 14, 2011
From some movie
Maybe the truth is there's a little bitof loser in all of us, you know?
Being happy isn't having everythingin your life be perfect.
Maybe it's about stringing togetherall the little things...
... like wearing these pants...
... or getting to a new level of "Dragon's Lair"...
... and making those countfor more than the bad stuff.
Maybe we just get through it...
... and that's all we can ask for.
Being happy isn't having everythingin your life be perfect.
Maybe it's about stringing togetherall the little things...
... like wearing these pants...
... or getting to a new level of "Dragon's Lair"...
... and making those countfor more than the bad stuff.
Maybe we just get through it...
... and that's all we can ask for.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
get over it
I finally realize that if you wanna get over something, trying to avoid it is not gonna help.
You cant run from it forever it. eventually you will meet again.
Treat it with a peaceful heart.
Maybe one day, you will find it has become an important part of your life, but nothing else.
No news from US yet. I am panic.
You cant run from it forever it. eventually you will meet again.
Treat it with a peaceful heart.
Maybe one day, you will find it has become an important part of your life, but nothing else.
No news from US yet. I am panic.
Monday, January 10, 2011
New Blog
I started a new Chinese blog @ sina. I can't stand reading my own stuff.
These years in SG made my Chinese bad like hell....damn it
and my English is still bad as before.
* pissed *
These years in SG made my Chinese bad like hell....damn it
and my English is still bad as before.
* pissed *
Sunday, January 9, 2011
too little sleep
Today is holiday for me. No need to go work.
But my head is so heavy - lack of sleep.
I had a terrible terrible dream last night. I woke up and cried my heart out.
I forgot how long it lasted till i fell asleep again.
I decided to stay awake instead. I cant afford to go back to that dream again.
I blame myself. I am halfly responsible for that dream.
The evil side of me wish it come true. though it is damn wrong.
I should have better control of my head.
But my head is so heavy - lack of sleep.
I had a terrible terrible dream last night. I woke up and cried my heart out.
I forgot how long it lasted till i fell asleep again.
I decided to stay awake instead. I cant afford to go back to that dream again.
I blame myself. I am halfly responsible for that dream.
The evil side of me wish it come true. though it is damn wrong.
I should have better control of my head.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
one and the only
You calm me down.
with one sentence or two.
I feel safe around you. no one else ever gave me that.
Lucky me.
with one sentence or two.
I feel safe around you. no one else ever gave me that.
Lucky me.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
A feeling that cannot be mentioned
I tend to have this kind of feeling whenever i come back from a trip.
especially a lovely fun happy and unforgettable trip.
I feel like going out again. so much.
Or else, my heart is so empty. I wanna be with those people all the time.
every day. forever.
the fact that it is not going to happen is sad.
I am an emotional person from the very beginning. This 2 years I have become a happy person. I think less and I stay thankful.
but today. I feel so empty.
Can someone promise me that no matter what, we will still be together. we will be friends for the rest of our lives.
especially a lovely fun happy and unforgettable trip.
I feel like going out again. so much.
Or else, my heart is so empty. I wanna be with those people all the time.
every day. forever.
the fact that it is not going to happen is sad.
I am an emotional person from the very beginning. This 2 years I have become a happy person. I think less and I stay thankful.
but today. I feel so empty.
Can someone promise me that no matter what, we will still be together. we will be friends for the rest of our lives.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
make a wish
we lit this up at Patong beach @ new year countdown party and made a wish.How I wish it comes true.
all those uncertainties are killing me. I feel emo and unsafe.
I have no one to talk to. I even dun wanna talk to myself.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Emo - first working day of the new year
Back from Phuket re-visit last night.
Its a nice trip. a lot of laughters and fun.
We found the same stores that we went last time, the old good memory just kept flashing in my head.
But still, Phuket is different from 3 years ago. We are different.
I was getting emo on the taxi to airport yesterday. I always feel Phuket is like an escape, escape from reality, choices, and responsibility. Pathetically I am still afraid of those even that i am now a 24 year old lady.
I remember last time we walked on the street in phuket, some Thai ppl asked us whether we were spending annual leave from same company. We were joking around that how old we looked, but now... time just flied. like hell.
Where we will be 3 years later.
I feel like crying. I have absolutely no idea why.
Its a nice trip. a lot of laughters and fun.
We found the same stores that we went last time, the old good memory just kept flashing in my head.
But still, Phuket is different from 3 years ago. We are different.
I was getting emo on the taxi to airport yesterday. I always feel Phuket is like an escape, escape from reality, choices, and responsibility. Pathetically I am still afraid of those even that i am now a 24 year old lady.
I remember last time we walked on the street in phuket, some Thai ppl asked us whether we were spending annual leave from same company. We were joking around that how old we looked, but now... time just flied. like hell.
Where we will be 3 years later.
I feel like crying. I have absolutely no idea why.
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