shocking news

one after another.

i finally find a way to log on blogspot but have no mood to write.

what do you want me to do

pretend to be a stranger and never care?

emo

非常。
I don't know where this takes me to the end.
Being emotional is useless since it cant change the situation anyway.
but I want something that is 100% pure.
I know it is not.
but I imagine it to be.

I cant see the light. the light shows the exit.

It is so messed up.

This semester

Actually i was quite happy thoughout the semester.
Live a peaceful life. not busy. no need social.
free and easy. staying at home most of time.
have a lot of time on my own.
happy making phone calls and chatting online.
finally got time to study instead of spending most of it on activities.

What else.
I got allergy.
takes one week to recover.
right after that I fell down on my Bday. on the way to work.
then all the photographers need to wait for me to have rest every half an hour.
how patient they were. I was so thankful.
then for the whole month I almost could not move my body. need to stand up straight and sleep lying on the bed straight.
in the reading week, my allergy flushed around again for 2 days.
stupid exam timetable makes me have 3 exams in one day.
and accidentally that's the day NUS start to take temperature for everyone.
my final exams suck.
for the first sem i study so hard you know.

well. forget about it.

then. I applied a number of internships.
one in the end they chose one out of 3. not me.
another one in the end they choose 2 out of 4 . not me again.
applied korean summer program. rejected.
Penn state professor accepted me to go back for research. but his project got rejected.

Well, we blame the time. blame the market.

whatelse? I don't know.

oh I got GFF as my supervisor. this is only lucky thing for me this semester
he is cute <3

but i have a happy semester . Really.
thanks for being there with me. you make me wanna fight with the routine that I natually accepted.
We should both be a better person. we will.

well well. one last exam tmr and one last internship interview!

Whatever happens, i will have a good summer vacation.
wish you do too.

this crazy job market

some common situations:
a guy got good statistics academic record. but he just could not get a statistics internship.
and i know those companies who are really recruiting statisticians, the people they finally accepted are those with a lot working experience but a poor academic record.

I don't really know who they are looking for.
It's just unfair.

People with a CAP from 4.3-4.6 is so awkward now . cannot get a job as good as first class honor guys. being treated as a normal 4.0,4.1 ppl or even second lower ones
And people favors singaporeans and PR.

No life For us. SERIOUSLY.

Pray Hard

Please.....

Officially rejected

I just could not wait for another 24 hours of a call which dunno will come or not.
I called then and heard the news of rejection.
I knew the result already. I knew it.
I know many ppl got bad luck this year for job hunting.
So me is just one of the common unlucky ones.

I know what I want for my life.
I know I want to go home.
I know I dont want to do internship cuz got more important things to do.

but i just feel down because of the the fact that some ppl think I am not good enough.
Yes i am not perfect but i know i am good enough for that project.

Well, I am fine.
life goes on.

and I want to go back to state college. Badly. Eagerly.
I am not going to think too much and just live my current life.
I get it. I will.

怀才不遇！

怀才不遇！
怀才不遇！

阴郁

The day has come

After waiting for 2 weeks.
Finally the Singapore Pools Internship interview is here.
It's the most wanted internship for me.
Market researcher. Buying consumer. Gaming industry.
They will select 2 people out of 4 today.
1/2 - is the probablity high or not.

I dunno why I always do those relax chat with the interviewers like they are just my friends. They are so kind that they laughed because of my lame jokes...So i did not feel that awkward...

Just Hope for the best.

Reading week

I am actually loving my life more and more.
And I wish to see King Kong real soon.

Last day of class in year 3

My lessons of year 3 have officially ended.
2 types of professors I like the most.
the first type is like Mr. T. Young, smart, fun, treat teaching seriously, enhance our thinking ability, friendly and efficient.
the other is like Mr. G. experienced, but not old-fasioned. Cute and cool. no lame jokes. helpful, and still approachable.

I am serioulsy thinking to become a research assistant after graduation.
Oh my.

Mr. H today said in the last lecture today there are many unexpected things happening. He had bad grades when he was in university and thought professor was a stupid job while now he has really become a professor.
no one know what is around the next corner.
life is fun becauses of these unexpected stuff.
for me, a person who always wanna plan ahead. maybe some changes will do me good.

I should stop worrying about the things that are not here yet.

XOXO

OK I have to admit Gossip Girl is such a nonsense, stupid drama that I should never watch.
i guess it's because prison break has not back yet that's why i started to watch GG last night.
and non stop till the time i slept
gosh.
It must end now.

but one thing i have discovered is: I wont be afraid of anything as long as i have PPStream. Loneliness. sadness. depression. or whatever.
gosh i think I can be a person just stay in my room with my little silver forever.

Time to go out.hence i decided to "date" LC for a review session later.
And start reading week officially.

oh well

I finally met Mathew, the American guy from PSU.
We chatted for quite a while, and he speaks good Chinese.
He doubts that whether I really stayed in PSU cuz I did not know the clubs and party places he mentioned, I called "white out" wrongly, I even like the weather there while he hates it the most.
Oh Well.
I guess I dun really experienced the most special part of PSU but it is so special to me. with great people. having great days.

I even started to think about going for a summer program for this coming holiday. I always said I dont want to wander here and there. I sometimes feel I am homeless cuz I am not sure what indeed my home is.
While Sometimes I just wanna go to different places.

Oh Well.
Until someday I can finally settle down with the guy I love and really have a home.
But when.

Last night

I had a dream.

I was back to State College.

I dropped by the little house.

I met Philip. He was busy renovating the house.

I was looking for a toilet. typical dream heh...

then I wanna call LY to tell him I was back.

But I did not have a cell phone.

I did not know what to do.

then I woke up.

One of my seniors got married and took a series of bridal photos.

When its my turn, I wanna take mine at the back of that house.

In the basketball court of the primary school.

With the beautiful sunset glow.

Madagascar

Hmmm...If I looks like Marty...


Then you really look like Alex...SERIOUSLY!

It's small world

Well...I know very few ppl in france and america. seriously.
but i just heard that one of my friends followed his supervisor in France to USA to do some research work and now stay in the same room with my housemate when i was in Penn state.

it's just...unbelievable.

If the world is so small, can i see you somewhere soon?

LOVELVA

Cant believe it has been 10 years already!
such a great voice and dancer.

Treasure Love

After a long chat, someone said, please treasure love.
After so many things happen. I think the belief is still there.

I wish the best for this friend
He is such a nice person.
He is deserved to be happy...

Life is never easy.
Let's face it. with faith.

Plans

I have planned a lot.
So many plans.
exhausted.
I dunno which one will be the final one.
so far i can only put one foot in front of the other.
I cant control.

I wanna run toward it.
I sometimes just cant stand it.
I wanna forget about anything else and go for it.

but i cant. haiz...i am not brave enough. am I...?

But I wont give up.
I have a dream. May it come true.

Drunk

Ok I may believe that ppl tell the truth when they are drunk...wahaha.
yeah. Faith is back.

My leg still hurts after the fall. moreoever i got infection in my eyes.
So went to UHC again to see doctors and get some medicine.
at the clinic i met dingying~
I just simply...miss her!
hehe..chatted a bit and found we are really similar...she dunno how got those injuries and pains as well...dunno how then fall down as well...
Nah....Fate of drummers?

Finals are coming...time flies just so fast..
Time please go faster and faster. I cant wait to graduate.

A long day

Today contains too much information.
I have done so many things..
one after one. no break.
I found my FYP supervisor.
Even a topic to start with.
I went to postoffice.
I got an injection.
I finally recieved the reply from Penn State of not going back this summer.
Though I really wish to.
I know it's kind of hopeless but there is at least 0.01 probability.
well, now.
Zero.

To much information.
way too much.

Christian Lacroix

Saturday went to Nationa Museum with AJ for the Christian Lacroix - The Costumier Exhibition. It's super nice. and love meeting AJ after a long time.

I am not a little girl

I hate ppl saying I am a little girl.
If you ever try to undertand me.
then you will know i am not.

I need motivation
I need proof
I need communication
Not only little girls need these.
Every single human being needs them.

I feel so shitty.

Down

I am so down.
I hate comparing.
I never mean to.

But.
It's just not my problem.
I need to be treated normally.
I am not superwoman.

Marriage

Keeping telling myself to have faith does not work any more.

My middle school friend is getting married this May.

And expecting a baby.
OMG it's just a gal at my age.

Last summer in a fashion show.

A gal asked me whether she was fat.

I said no, but why you feel so.

Then she said cuz i just gave birth to a baby.

Wow amazing. how old are you btw.

I am 21. same age as you.

What a world it is.

A uncel once said, "look how young you are. You are only 20 something. I only could be able to go abroad at my 30!"

Well, sometimes i envy the uncle's generation

at least they can fight for their career after their marriage. without worrying about anything about family.

What about us.

Like us. girls. maybe have to quit in the middle of somewhere of our career cuz need to go home get married and have baby.

Or else, being single till very late. 30? 40?

I have no idea.

Life is long. But for us girls. Bloom is so short. 10 years only.

well family means a lot more than career to me.

but what if i can get neither of these.

have faith have faith. but in the end there is no reason for us to believe that the faith thing is actually there.

No girls still believe in fairy tale.

How sad is that.

Show some effort. please. from both side.

I want a direction, clear direction.

I even dont know where i am gonna be this summer.

which is just one month ahead.

I guess life is like this right?

You never know what you ll get.

Forest Gump.

Beyonce

最近喜欢Beyonce.
Such a powerful voice. Full of anger.

If I were a boy
If I were a boy even just for a day
I'd roll out of bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted
And go drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I'd kick it with who I wanted
And I'd never get confronted for it
'Cause they stick up for me
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man
I'd listen to her
'Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
'Cause he's taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone it's broken
So they'd think that I was sleeping alone
I'd put myself first
And make the rules as I go
'Cause I know that she'd be faithful
Waiting for me to come home
It's a little too late for you to come back
Say it's just a mistake
Think I'd forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong
But you're just a boy
You don't understand
And you don't understand, oh
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you wish you were a better man
You don't listen to her
You don't care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
'Cause you're taking her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
But you're just a boy

LISTEN
Listen to the song here in my heart
A melody I start but can't complete
Listen to the sound from deep within
It's only beginning to find release
Oh, the time has come for my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside and turned
Into your own all 'cause you won't
Listen Listen, I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home in my own home
And I've tried and tried to say what's on mind
You should have known
Oh, now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what you made of me
I followed the voice you gave to me
But now I've gotta find my own
You should have listened, there is someone here inside
Someone I thought had died so long ago
Oh, I'm screaming out and my dreams'll be heard
They will not be pushed aside on words
Into your own all 'cause you won't
Listen
I don't know where I belong
But I'll be moving on
If you don't, if you won't
Listen

Regardless of Race , Nationality...etc , girls will be girls, boys will be boys.
All we need is communication.
But why you just won't listen.
why you just wont even try to understand.

T_T

Reborn

经过了
一次摔跤
一场发疯
一下午的图书馆
一顿与50多岁的uncle的晚餐

我觉得
这将是一个很不同的一年

22nd

well what can I say.
What A DAY.
No celebration cuz got work to do.
And I fell down on the stairs in the rain!

the old sentence again--shit happens. all the time.

I dunno what sign it is...maybe a tough year ahead...

And for something i decided to not expect much but in the end it disappointed me still, i guess i still had hope on it.

But I got A lot of wishes. From A lot of people.
You people make my day. Thanks to let me know that I am not always forgotten.

I feel something is lost

while it's only 2 days.

this sunday got a photoshoot.
maybe a good way to say goodbye to my 21st year in life.

不干正事

我觉得 我现在有这种倾向
生病时觉得 只有健康最重要
于是奋斗的信念小了下去
坚决改正....

未来又渺茫起来了
虽然不想做intern但是真的连个interview也没有的时候也有些若有所失
I am just not good enough.
I have a bad GPA.
I cant tell how much i regret now.

期中成绩也没有很理想
每天嗜睡也没有精神

只想快点好起来 重新开始。

redness

these days the redness went up and down.
all over again.
shit.
i guess shit happens.
all the time.
everything comes for a reason.
when the reason is unclear, it sucks.

I could not keep my promise since this shit happened...
I am so sorry for everything...

I just hope it can end soon...asap.

sometimes i start to like the time diffenece thing.even at midnight ,you still can make phone calls since people are not sleeping at the other side of the earth.
how good is that.

Thanks for all the friends that care about me. I feel so grateful to have you guys around. =)

Emergency

再一次人品不佳 大半夜去NUH挂急诊了
倒是这次没什么 那护士一看到我的脸直接就让进去了 队都不用拍
直接上病床打针 然后我就昏睡过去了

虽然很不爽 现在还是很多红斑。
不过 因为不孤单所以仍然感觉很幸福。

感动

越来越不喜欢在校内上写日志了
现在看校内的唯一目的就是关注晓鸥的事情 分享关于晓鸥的日志 希望更多的人可以看到 自己的感受总觉得写了也是浪费资源
可是 今天真的很感动 也很难过
今天考了4个小时的试 5门期中考试终于都完了 不是特别理想 不过总算是刺激了我一下final一雪前耻
考完之后奔去看募捐的Booth.
自己也干不了别的 献血不够资格 也没有强大人脉可以招钱 只有站站booth了

一直以来都是很乐观的看这件事情 觉得钱够了就没问题了 晓鸥这么坚强 李冰冰都治好了 我们这次也没有问题的
可是 才3天 大家甚至已经募捐到了将近李冰冰的全部治疗费用
可是 晓鸥的情况似乎比想象的要糟很多
晓鸥似乎精神也开始不好了 化疗确实很折磨人

想想妈妈以前化疗的时候 为了不让我担心 2个月都看到住院的她 一定也是克服了很大的苦难和折磨吧...想想这些就觉得妈妈很伟大呢 妈妈要好好锻炼 要长命百岁！

站booth的时候 听了解情况的那几个senior讲晓鸥的情况
大家有时候在笑 其实我真的不怎么笑得出来
不过还是要乐观吧 恩恩

很多好心人捐款 我在的时间已经是星期五下午4-6点了 人流最少的时候 而且很多想捐的同学都已经捐过了 可是一个多小时之内我也觉得至少1000多块被塞进了募捐箱 旁边的POSB ATM里的现金都被捐钱的人取光了 还有人跑去别的地方的提款机取钱了再回来捐 就算是不知道这件事的路人 只要拦下来跟他们解释这个事情 绝大多数的人都会慷慨解囊
觉得能够拿着传单说几句话就可以多弄点钱的话 也是一件值得欣慰的可以为她做点什么的事情了

每次看陪护日记都感动死了...友谊还是很伟大的...希望大家可以陪着晓鸥一起度过难关...希望老天可以被这一帮朋友所感动....
他们描述的晓鸥的现状也让人看起来很揪心....唉...

好久不看书不写字了都不知道要怎么表达了
Bless ....

请一定一定一定一定为了爱你的人注意身体...

Believe

Just Have a little bit more faith ...please...
I believe we can make it in the end...
Before that, take care and fight for it.

LYILY.

明天要考试
不能有包袱
恩
其实考试从来不紧张
但是这个学期是怎么了
可能终于开始好好学习了吧

小胖说 加油 好吗？

风

话说上次见到Colin的时候 他说感觉我整个人从美国回来之后变得没那么有压力 看起来像一阵风
多诡异的形容词
其实 我是越来越不懂得享受生活了
或者现在顾不上了

最近总是不能特别高兴起来
什么都不想买 大餐有人请客都不想吃 总是觉得除了日常三餐之外的奢侈都免了吧 有钱不如捐给晓鸥姐
booth helper招人 去报了名 过了一会再进去看看就几乎都填满了
一阵感动 总觉得其实中国人凝聚力特别的强
尤其是大学生 有一种无法想象的力量
这几年出的这么多事 每次都是这些热血沸腾的大学生最让我感动

我还是想去学会生活
But above all, I must find my life first.

请大家关注

MSN SPACE不知道为什么上不了
这里也没什么人看
看的人应该也都知道了
不过 如果你只是路过 请关注http://blog.sina.com.cn/blessxiaoou
每次读这个博客都有说不出来的感觉
人世无常 每一个灿烂的笑容之后 会发生什么 谁都不知道
曾经这么多的梦想 这么无限可能的未来
顷刻之间都可以改变

对于最近 自杀 猝死 刺伤 诸多事情都没有这一件让我如此的难过
生命如此的可贵 当有些人就这么轻易的放弃的时候
也有的人 像晓鸥一样这么渴望活下去
世界就是这么的不公平

希望我们可以帮上什么。

Life is short

最近接二连三的出事
不知道哪一天 身边的人也许就会不见
或者自己不见
或者 都变了
去了美国之后就没有看过NANA了
今天突然想起来 去图书馆搜索连载
落下很多集没有看
慢慢读起来

断断续续 看了6年多的NANA. 还是没有完结.
所有的人物我都喜欢 我就是不喜欢雷拉
连莲的死我也要怪她

NANA不想被人可怜 可是我觉得她好可怜 真的太可怜了

看着他们 莲的葬礼 突然收到邮件 是学校方面对那个昨天死去的交换上的悼念

最看不得就是年轻的生命陨落
可是总是一而再再而三的听到这样那样的消息。
莲撞车。美国人喝酒吃药。
就因为莲和NANA两个人的倔强 毕生的遗憾
那份没有送出去的生日礼物。

生命很短暂 一定要抓紧时间向爱的人奔去。你说呢 Wall-E?

Tonight. At the monent. I miss them as hell/

休息休息 准备准备 小黑小银 大富翁 猴子 暗棋五子 刷墙 搬家 火锅 意大利面 BBQ 圣诞灯 格斗 锻炼闷痒 飙高音 迈克杰克逊 粉红泡泡 花生啤酒二十四

不纠结了

终于解决纠结已久的事情
心中大石落地
老妈果然不是盖的 太强大了
不愧是我老妈～娃哈哈

Just

You do it to yourself,
and that's what really hurts.

change

I dont really know the ppl now.
I miss the old ppl.
I miss junde I miss dingying I miss siewjin I miss denyse I miss Marcus.
Tonight cleaned Band Room with Eng Seng, put up all the posters again. They dropped down dunno when but ppl just left them in the corner.
I still remember in my year 1, that day we rearranged the room and did clean up and put up all the poster together. we even hung the guitar up on the wall too.
We went out to KTV and back in the mid-night.
We suppered in bandroom and got "drunk".
The JD bottle is still in the bandroom , so memorable.
We did panda makeup for our rockfest.
We practiced so often that every song was great.
We got so high on the stage, we jumped together (well, though i cant jump cuz i was on drum. lol)
We made the small little video for jd. I even cried for his leaving. haha..I was so young then...
We gathered many old band ppl together and supper, some of them got married already. Once in KE band, always in KE band
It was so fun.

Maybe it's not their problem.
Maybe I was not around for so long.
Maybe my passion is not there already.

I think all those golden days will just stay in my heart. but they will never come back.
原来 the song, "summer of 69' " is really true.

I cannot keep comparing.
I have much more things to do.
Just hope the last rockfest will go smooth. and hope all the juniors have fun in band now and in the future. and find the bonding back.

感慨万千

看了一篇文章
特别沉重
如果发生在我身上我根本不知道怎么面对
憎恶左右摇摆
憎恶多情懦弱

我想起了很多。
All those unhappy memories.
Doubts. Questions. Explanations. Facts.
Shit.

走钢索的人

走钢索的人
不害怕牺牲
只求一点安稳

The future is still unclear.

Is it too much I am asking for.

心神不宁

焦躁。
等待。
去处。

I wont do it to myself again

Baxk to SG

It's an unfamiliar city.
hot and wet.
I miss state collge, it is warm.
I am not used to everything...I got on the car at the wrong side, I cant get sleep because of hot weather, i hate those insects, i hate singlish, i sometimes speak it though, I dont like talking to many ppl at the same time and i think hall is noisy.

I am used to the quiet life.

Handphone is down.
I sometimes I feel I have left happy valley for a long time, but it's just 2 weeks...

Things are so different. People are different. I am different.

Can I go back.

Leave. Back.

I left.
I am back.
I am going back.

where is my home indeed?

Broke

I lost a lot of money.
I am sick.
But I ll be home for Christmas.

You see, I call it home now.

Next sem

Will, have a few courses in common with guo.
Weekly party and dinner.
Internship searching.
FYP advisor searching.
Double room with WQ in KE.
6 modules.
Malaysia trip with ZX.

What a wonderful semester ahead.

Disappointed and determined.

Not everything must have a future and happy ending.
Enjoy the process.
These are what i told WQ.

But the process must worth it.
While being cheated does not.

Future

well, this is something everyone is thinking about.
i am not an ambitious person.
Career is not the main goal of my life.
Be an ordinary OL is already accepted.
But under such weak econ, everything is looking for a solution.
NYC. Ibanks. Wall street. Finance
All these words came out from ppl's mouths so often.

Is it worthy to struggle that much to get a high-paid job?

Just read brother Yan's wife RURU's blog.
That's such kind of sweet like i am long for.

I want to fight for my real life, but not for money or those career satisfactions.

Wonderful Weekend

It is my second last weekend in state college.
No big things happened, stayed at home most of time doing nothing.

went to Late night at HUB to draw some small woods friday, i drew v badly so we went to HUB again on Sat night, i finally painted a not so ugly wooden star. Then played settlers.
Sunday night study and went to Z's home to play with his little cute white cat.

LateNight will not be open next weekend.
This is my last time to play games or do painting...
And no chance to watch movie in Penn State...

But i really had a wonderful time.
Even Such easy happy time will not be possible soon....

Time flies too fast. Too fast for me to catch it.

Blur

Actually i am blur .
I cant predict future hence i dunno what i am going to do, where i am going to be.
I could just put one foot in front of another.
and See how.
When life is not controlled by myself.
it sucks.

On the road

每次旅途中都有大把时间可以乱想
几个小时 坐在车上 看窗外走过的风景
如此奇妙我们来回与不同的地方 认识各种各样的人
才能更深刻的感觉这个世界 感觉自己和这个世界是这么紧紧相连
直到找到自己最喜欢的地方 自己最喜欢的人
于是停止奔波 停止流浪 安心住在一个地方 留在一个人身边

有的人为了去一个地方 放弃人
而我 为了人 我愿意去一个地方

I am sorry

I dunno how i can so easily lose control of my temper.
I never was like this before.
I should not.
I should not.

I did not mean to. I am always satisfy with the things and people around me.
I did not expect more. I could not expect more.

I am sorry.

it hurts.

.
i should even not blog here in english
cuz i speak the language so badly.

人生

聊天　
有的朋友要结婚了
有的朋友要工作了
有的朋友被派去中东了
有的朋友的狗被迫送走了
有的朋友生日在学习室里过了
有的朋友说Life could never be that easy.

也许我的人生还没开始。什么时候才能知道它是什么样子。

WXN

It never feels so strong until today.
Looking at the garspard and lisa by the window, this small warm home seems so empty.
Today on the way back, i even forgot how to cross the road from walmart to TJmax.
I have become so used to a lot things.

I realized one thing.
I am scared.
For the first time.

WXN. WAN.

痒

看星光发现的好歌。很久都没听到这种类型的歌
这种歌词　总是在生活中找到影子　但是那种感觉又表达不出来

她是悠悠一抹斜阳 多想多想 有谁懂得欣赏
他有蓝蓝一片云窗 只等只等 有人与之共享
她是绵绵一段乐章 多想 有谁懂得吟唱
他有满满一目柔光 只等只等 有人为之绽放
来啊 快活啊 反正有大把时光来啊 爱情啊 反正有大把愚妄来啊 流浪啊 反正有大把方向来啊 造作啊 反正有大把风光啊痒
大大方方 爱上爱的表象
迂迂回回 迷上梦的孟浪

越慌越想越慌 越痒越搔越痒

Smiles like teen spirit.

well, i watched a lot of"超级星光大道" recently, an Singing competition in Taiwan. ONe of the girl onces sang this classic song from Nirvana. Judges gave her a very high score and ...well, her voice was indeed pretty good. She made a new version of this song to be a slow and soft one.
Then i continue to check this song in youtube and found Tori Amos once did a cover of this as well. And it is the same as the girl sang in the competition.
So here comes a question. I don't like people do a cover for those very very classic and famous song. Especially a Rock song. Maybe doing a cover is still acceptable, cuz ppl love the good songs. BUt i cant accept that people make changes. I don't think the lyrics of SLTS is suitable to be a slow song...they made it as if it is a love song...OMG.
THe one who did it is Tori Amos. Another classic maker. But can see from the comments after the video. ppl feel angry about such changes. Even it is Tori Amos and i heard that Kurt himself actaully liked this slow version.

I don't know whether it should be like this.
Am I or are we over reacted?

know what, nowadays i feel everybody is saying they like rock N roll. they sang and did cover to show their love.
BUt they just kill the original songs.

well, i dunno how many people are thinking we killed good songs while watching our band performing...haha...that's a question...

Gone

I hate hearing people died.
Even those i never met before.
I heard her songs, a beautiful voice. she really got a lot of love, why she only cared about that very single love.
Suicide is just stupid. No matter under any situation. as long as there is at least only one person who care about you, dun turn him/her down.
I don't know how many times i am saying this, but i just hate to see those helpless tears.
It dragged me to a few months ago.
He is just lying there, like he is sleeping.
I felt the pain from his family, i felt the tremble hands from his mother. I even cant hold her as I myself cannt stop trembling.
I hate to see dead bodies. Especially those I knew.

No things are so bad that you even wanna give up ur life for this.

Such yound souls. So young, so many hopes are just gone with ur silly decisions.

R.I.P. R.I.P.
people always say this but how the rest of the people rest in real life.
so unfair. so unfair. so unfair.

I don't know how come people admire Curt Cobian for his nirvana-like suicide. Think he himself would not imagine this. Real artists can seperate the art and real life. I don't think he did it. I admire his music, his on-stage performance. But never think his dead add on his beauty.

I dunno what i am talking about...all these nonsense..all these junk...Da Dao Li that everyone knows...

I just hate of hearing people died. Especially die young.
At least die meanfully can? at least leave some great outcomes for the death ok?

hmmmm

well,
well,
I still dont know what will turn out
so.
stop thinking abt it.
I told ppl to be determined.
but am i?

You Dunno

I have not blogged here for some reasons.
I feel like shutting it down.
I feel like deleting all the posts.
I feel like everyone does not know me.
even I dont.
You dunno my life, so stop commenting on it.

It'sgetting cold

I love fall.
It's just too beautiful to be true.
it's cold out there but my heart is warm.

Can I stay here forever.

I am still myself. I am fabulous.

non sense

Why people treat us as staff instead of students also. We are no difference.
It is just happened that we are in a special CCA and now is reading week.
*There is a HALL OFFICE out there just next to dining hall.*

**After overworrying about nothing (quoted from my dear) finally i could stop thinking of it all the time.
为中华之崛起而读书中。

Me Is Happy=)

As the title says.

Hey, if you are reading

Actually i notice that the count of people who visit my blog is increasing....at first i thought very few ppl would come here de...
So tell me if you are here and leave a message to let me know.
In any form you like.

For today.
Reading weeks are the best weeks in the semester to me.
No need work. No need have meeting. No need be bothered by other stuff.
Hide myself in a small room just with the one I like and study and play and relax.

Yup i have to say reading week is kind of relax.

Oh. Will fly home on 13 May. So early compared to what i thought. Even before Hai leaves.
That's better for me.

Faith

是不是我很形式化？
I dunno I dunno...but i really would like to hear it, would like you to say it.

I need to feel secure...then i won't be afraid of anything...*Happy 4 months anniversary*

Dear Vivian

it is been a while since she came and left Singapore... Shasha, me and Vivian

We 5. forever 32=)
I miss you.

Gone

He is gone.
How can he do so?
I could not just say RIP as usual.
Sorry. I feel so sorry.
I dun feel like crying. I am just feeling so sorry.

Will be in Thailand 5 dec-13 dec

Will go off soon tmr!
will upload photos when i back=)

Remember the Thunder

Accidentally saw this vid....i am about to cry already...RIP RIP...Though it has been a few months..
But ya...i dunno what to say. i love this vid and think you love it too.

19 Nov. JX Came

Ok Update..haha one-day-singapore travelling with Jiexin and Fay at the start of reading week..
It feels..amazing that we could get together in Singapore! We made phone calls to Ting along singaore river. Wish Sure is fine in Korea...
We have been good frends since we were very very young...like 10 years ago???or even earlier...
how time flies...Now we 5 are all in differnt places, different countries....
Wish all us us best of luck of our future and we could visite each other more often!

We have grown up gals!

After walked around NUS, we went to Orchard...Xmas is coming...my 3rd Xmas in S'pore

It's always a good place to take pics...I dunno why suddenly feel so sad....maybe the sky was dark and Jiexin and Fay were leaving...when will we meet again? and where?

I always love 摩天轮。Is it called Singapore Eye?haha....that day we were ushers for S.leage, me and estelle were bored of standing at the entrance for more than half an hour, we talked about it. It's been a long time since last time i sat in it...i dun remember with whom....

PS. there are quite a lot of unrated pics..haha....authorised persons only

S.League Awards Night 07

Aleksandar Duric (above) was the biggest winner...got 4 awards...saw him come up on the stage 4 times...lol...the trophy is super heavy....i remember some of the presenters almost dropped it when they took over it from my hands...and some winners could not carry it using one hand (cuz they need another hand to hold the mic to say thank you speech) so they put it on the floor! OMG how can they do that ...look not nice lol.

anyway...i expected football players got many cute guys but in the end just Alex is ok but he is 37 already...>_<

I was just mad to go work during reading week...which i spend more than half of the day...
but ok la, nice to be there. though i dun quite know football.
For such a small country, the football awards can be this big, it's really great for the football players. I dunno whether China got this kind of awards or not..
I still feel quite painful on the legs and my back because we kept standing last night...for 4 hours? or even more...
Being usher is tough...haha...
ok some pics i got from http://bolasepako.blogspot.com/2007/11/sleague-awards-night-2007.html Thank this guy though i dunno who...should be one of the photographers there bah...i should have seen him.

Quite sien that the host asked us questions...we are ushers lol...and i dunno how to answer also...haiz haiz.. luckily got Estelle beside me....lol

More pics....think will search more after exams...haha

I have to start my crazy mugging now! errrrr....

Sean on facebook!

He has fractured three bones, twisted his ankles twenty times, and has damaged ligaments in his back, knee and wrists. His liver has also failed before due to excessive drinking.

haha...this is Sean's bio @ Ronin's website...but guess what...he just msg me on facebook "all the best for your papers"...NUS students all hate bloody exams....even Rock Stars!!

Mug On! After that...rock on lol...my days are sooo packed...from now till 14 dec...err

ps. now i know i am even busier after 14 Dec...half joy...the other half is..i dunno..

Teenagers

Ok i am biased. I love this song because last sat Levan sang it.
I wish i could sing it and get ppl high as well some day.

Lime Sonic Bang 07 @ Sentosa

Ok i admit that i spent 5 hour in Sentosa only to to catch up with Astroninja's gig. I dun wanna talk about taking wrong bus and how i got lost in the freaky island....-_- they only performed for 20mins ...errrr. it is damn short and ...no ENCORE!!! they just suddenly stop...:( i guess that's Levan's little trick to make us feel not enough.lolWhat can i say? i just simply like Levan, the weird but cool guy. He is always the most shining person in the crowd and everyone will pay attention on him (not only because his scary face...lol) He is just born to be a performer and a singer in a Hard Rock Band. Ok i have to say the only reason i went to sentosa in my reading week is because to see him. i have seen him for a long long time and i do miss the old days with Ronin's gigs.
Though Levan is not in Ronin any more...haiz...I do miss the rest of the band...i have no emotion in this new band. But Levan is still the best. haiz i just simply like the guy. from the first sight though he is really a freak but he is so creative and always give us a surprise. (i am not saying the naked lady doll.....dull!)

I chose to stay safe so i standed with AJ with far from the stage and at the side so we got handrail to hold....man we are old...we are scared to be pulled down and died halfway...hahahaha. So my camera not good enough so the pics are not good enough since too far and tooooo many ppl i cannot stand still.

I still love going gigs . is it mean i am still a teenager....?
Anyway really good to see Levan and AJ and other good stuff. i bought i "dress" only for 5 bucks and AJ bought a bag for 3. haha so cheap. the free market there is awesome. And i had a night leave from reading week and enjoy the beach at night.

PS>>>>i wanna hear someone play Black Maria once more...if cannot ...then can the knees do it?

UK Trip (7) -- Lake District

UK Trip (6) -- Liverpool

Albert Port

One of the most exciting thing is i went to The Beatles Story Exhibition! You know why i fancy UK so much is because the great musicians there. I love brit-pop and those big old band like beatles and oasis. And Liverpool is where the beatles became famous. the exhibition is just in the albert port. (the ticket is so expensive...sob sob )

I didn't know that Inside the exhibition photography is not allowed..so i took a few then was told by others that cannot take photos any more...sigh...but it really felt like i back to the old days of UK .


Mathew Street. Beatles used to play in a bar on this street.

UK Trip (5) --Warwick Castle

10 May, first time i really knew what "castle" means...! CASTLE!

really feel like in a movie or fairy tale, but then it's just so normal to those westerners..ok.

luxury means nothing to those royal people...

The castle is telling us how the life was used to be in the old days. hundreds of servants and solders lived in the castles to serve and protect the duke family or whatever royal people.

Dun really took many good photos in warwick..but when you climbed up to the top , the view was damn nice. Cameras just cannot capture what was in our eyes.
就是皇族的生活，奢华，壮观，但是我却一点没有羡慕的感觉。
难以想象这样一个城堡只是住着一个家庭。家。

At lease for me, i can never feel this place like home.

Gig this saturday, anyone?

Lime Sonic Bang 07. this saturday 1pm-3am next day. Sentosa.
I think i am just mad to go to gigs in my reading week! Errr. But i still decided to go.
Earlier today i sat in my bed with my ipod. music is always a must when i study...haha.
Shuffle songs. Then Black Maria came into my ears.
Such an old song by Ronin. Now even they are not a band any more.
I have to say that Ronin is the best local band ever and it brought me to Singapore local music. I get to know Eletrico, get to know Zero Sequence, get to know Levan in person, get to catch gigs, get to join OMS, get to know the ppl in OMS, get to organize Stasis together with other OMS ppl, get to be a part of the local music scene.

Haha this pics was taken by Linda @ Rock For Good 2006! how time flies...OMG see i changed so much and levan too! Now he is more Glam Rock and...still the most eye-catching person in the crowd. I am touched by Rock for Wayne (rename for the drummer of The Suns who passed away) although i was not there. I have to say Levan is really a guy with great personality and passion for music.He is so easy-going and he is born to be a wonderful performer! many ppl dun understand his choice (left Ronin) but i believe he did it for the good of himself also for Ronin.

Support you always and Rock On.

UK Trip (4) -- Oxford revisit

10 May, we went to Oxford again. But this time we came to meet a another group of people together with travel agency. we were going to travel around UK officially...haha. although i like backpacking more than going with travel agent but true that it can save a lot of trouble...especially we dun have a car...anyway. took a lot more pics in Oxford again.


How can i believe this is a library!!? But it is...errr....confirm i cannot study inside...
In Oxford Museum....which is weird also... it's more for kids i think....lol

They like to enchase famous people or alumni or whoever onto the wall of the buildings...can see such kind of head sculptures everywhere...

PS..I think i decided to make this place a photo site...

UK Trip (3) -- Cambridge

Ok then the next day we went to cambridge...another FAMOUS Uni...of cuz.

I dunno why i like Oxford bettter maybe because it's older??lol

anyway...the styles of the 2 are quite similar...i kept been amazed by those wonderful buildings...

apple tree...funny to plant one here...to show how Newtown thought of gravity...lol

UK Trip (2) -- Oxford

We stayed in his home, and his house is in Abindon, a small town near Oxford.
The 1st day after we arrived, a good friend of my father drove us to Oxford, also because his wife is a staff in Oxford university. There i first time saw the red telephone box. Very UK and very unique.

The river across the campus.
can see this kind of buildings everywhere. i felt like i was in movie , haha

the name of the photo is brothers...so touched that their friendship can last for so many years...they are classmates in university...now they are all about 50 years' old!

UK Trip (1)

A new blog. But not much to say about the life recently.i am thinking to slowly post some blogs about the memories in the past.
Actually at first i want to make this blog as a travel diary or something.since i am going to thailand soon and i got my SEP offer already , will go Penn. Stat. next year, August.

Like everyone else, i dreamed about travelling around the world. haaha when i was a child.
Last holiday, i went to UK with my parents.
My parents are the best always. my family is not those rich kind, really a very very normal one in China. But my parents know how to enjoy life, that's why we managed to have this UK trip. They said it's because i got scholarship they no need to worry about my university fee. haha anyway, i just love my mom and dad so much <3. And we had a wonderful time in UK.

QUESTION: last time you stayed with your family together for holiday is when? It's really a hard to find such oppotunity that everyone is free to go travelling, and staying together EVERY SECOND for half a month! especially for our case...i study aboard .only back home once per year...

Will post more about it soon.

I am a Keviian

That's what we call ourselves. -- KEVIIANs. We fight for glory of KE and we have KE pride.
I dunno. I never thought i could be such kind of "Hall Person", once i thought i would be just kicked off of the hall in my year 2. I guess because KE is so unique and it's just can bear with all the different ppl with different mindsets and cultures.

KE is about a hostel life, about achivement, about having fun, about working like hell, about learning new things.

Most importantly, is it about the friends.

Great King

You wanna talk about my uni life, then i ll talk about my hall life. I guess when i graduate the most unforgetable thing should be the great KE7 hall and great KE ppl.

I am kind of foreigner in singapore, but this place makes me feel like home.

OK

Everytime i want to have a new blog, i tell myself that i ll take it seriously.
This time also. I hope i can keep it up.
Currently i have many blogs. MSN one is the most known one to others, but not many ppl go there and i lose the passion for it also. xiaonei one is for school mates, just some updates of my life. Then got another blogspot but i decided it to keep it private.

So this is the one i want to make it nice.
No need update often, but i want to make it meaningful.

So. Now welcome to the paranoid android in the island.