Leave. Back.

I left.
I am back.
I am going back.

where is my home indeed?

Broke

I lost a lot of money.
I am sick.
But I ll be home for Christmas.

You see, I call it home now.

Next sem

Will, have a few courses in common with guo.
Weekly party and dinner.
Internship searching.
FYP advisor searching.
Double room with WQ in KE.
6 modules.
Malaysia trip with ZX.

What a wonderful semester ahead.

Disappointed and determined.

Not everything must have a future and happy ending.
Enjoy the process.
These are what i told WQ.

But the process must worth it.
While being cheated does not.

Future

well, this is something everyone is thinking about.
i am not an ambitious person.
Career is not the main goal of my life.
Be an ordinary OL is already accepted.
But under such weak econ, everything is looking for a solution.
NYC. Ibanks. Wall street. Finance
All these words came out from ppl's mouths so often.

Is it worthy to struggle that much to get a high-paid job?

Just read brother RURU's blog.
That's such kind of sweet life i long for.

I want to fight for my real life, but not for money or those career satisfactions.

Wonderful Weekend

It is my second last weekend in state college.
No big things happened, stayed at home most of time doing nothing.

went to Late night at HUB to draw some small woods friday, i drew v badly so we went to HUB again on Sat night, i finally painted a not so ugly wooden star. Then played settlers.
Sunday night study and went to Z's home to play with his little cute white cat.

LateNight will not be open next weekend.
This is my last time to play games or do painting...
And no chance to watch movie in Penn State...

But i really had a wonderful time.
Even Such easy happy time will not be possible soon....

Time flies too fast. Too fast for me to catch it.

Blur

Actually i am blur .
I cant predict future hence i dunno what i am going to do, where i am going to be.
I could just put one foot in front of another.
and See how.
When life is not controlled by myself.
it sucks.

On the road

每次旅途中都有大把时间可以乱想
几个小时 坐在车上 看窗外走过的风景
如此奇妙我们来回与不同的地方 认识各种各样的人
才能更深刻的感觉这个世界 感觉自己和这个世界是这么紧紧相连
直到找到自己最喜欢的地方 自己最喜欢的人
于是停止奔波 停止流浪 安心住在一个地方 留在一个人身边

有的人为了去一个地方 放弃人
而我 为了人 我愿意去一个地方

I am sorry

I dunno how i can so easily lose control of my temper.
I never was like this before.
I should not.
I should not.

I did not mean to. I am always satisfy with the things and people around me.
I did not expect more. I could not expect more.

I am sorry.

it hurts.

.
i should even not blog here in english
cuz i speak the language so badly.

人生

聊天　
有的朋友要结婚了
有的朋友要工作了
有的朋友被派去中东了
有的朋友的狗被迫送走了
有的朋友生日在学习室里过了
有的朋友说Life could never be that easy.

也许我的人生还没开始。什么时候才能知道它是什么样子。

WXN

It never feels so strong until today.
Looking at the garspard and lisa by the window, this small warm home seems so empty.
Today on the way back, i even forgot how to cross the road from walmart to TJmax.
I have become so used to a lot things.

I realized one thing.
I am scared.
For the first time.

WXN. WAN.

痒

看星光发现的好歌。很久都没听到这种类型的歌
这种歌词　总是在生活中找到影子　但是那种感觉又表达不出来

她是悠悠一抹斜阳 多想多想 有谁懂得欣赏
他有蓝蓝一片云窗 只等只等 有人与之共享
她是绵绵一段乐章 多想 有谁懂得吟唱
他有满满一目柔光 只等只等 有人为之绽放
来啊 快活啊 反正有大把时光来啊 爱情啊 反正有大把愚妄来啊 流浪啊 反正有大把方向来啊 造作啊 反正有大把风光啊痒
大大方方 爱上爱的表象
迂迂回回 迷上梦的孟浪

越慌越想越慌 越痒越搔越痒

Smiles like teen spirit.

well, i watched a lot of"超级星光大道" recently, an Singing competition in Taiwan. ONe of the girl onces sang this classic song from Nirvana. Judges gave her a very high score and ...well, her voice was indeed pretty good. She made a new version of this song to be a slow and soft one.
Then i continue to check this song in youtube and found Tori Amos once did a cover of this as well. And it is the same as the girl sang in the competition.
So here comes a question. I don't like people do a cover for those very very classic and famous song. Especially a Rock song. Maybe doing a cover is still acceptable, cuz ppl love the good songs. BUt i cant accept that people make changes. I don't think the lyrics of SLTS is suitable to be a slow song...they made it as if it is a love song...OMG.
THe one who did it is Tori Amos. Another classic maker. But can see from the comments after the video. ppl feel angry about such changes. Even it is Tori Amos and i heard that Kurt himself actaully liked this slow version.

I don't know whether it should be like this.
Am I or are we over reacted?

know what, nowadays i feel everybody is saying they like rock N roll. they sang and did cover to show their love.
BUt they just kill the original songs.

well, i dunno how many people are thinking we killed good songs while watching our band performing...haha...that's a question...

Gone

I hate hearing people died.
Even those i never met before.
I heard her songs, a beautiful voice. she really got a lot of love, why she only cared about that very single love.
Suicide is just stupid. No matter under any situation. as long as there is at least only one person who care about you, dun turn him/her down.
I don't know how many times i am saying this, but i just hate to see those helpless tears.
It dragged me to a few months ago.
He is just lying there, like he is sleeping.
I felt the pain from his family, i felt the tremble hands from his mother. I even cant hold her as I myself cannt stop trembling.
I hate to see dead bodies. Especially those I knew.

No things are so bad that you even wanna give up ur life for this.

Such yound souls. So young, so many hopes are just gone with ur silly decisions.

R.I.P. R.I.P.
people always say this but how the rest of the people rest in real life.
so unfair. so unfair. so unfair.

I don't know how come people admire Curt Cobian for his nirvana-like suicide. Think he himself would not imagine this. Real artists can seperate the art and real life. I don't think he did it. I admire his music, his on-stage performance. But never think his dead add on his beauty.

I dunno what i am talking about...all these nonsense..all these junk...Da Dao Li that everyone knows...

I just hate of hearing people died. Especially die young.
At least die meanfully can? at least leave some great outcomes for the death ok?

hmmmm

well,
well,
I still dont know what will turn out
so.
stop thinking abt it.
I told ppl to be determined.
but am i?

You Dunno

I have not blogged here for some reasons.
I feel like shutting it down.
I feel like deleting all the posts.
I feel like everyone does not know me.
even I dont.
You dunno my life, so stop commenting on it.

It'sgetting cold

I love fall.
It's just too beautiful to be true.
it's cold out there but my heart is warm.

Can I stay here forever.

I am still myself. I am fabulous.

non sense

Why people treat us as staff instead of students also. We are no difference.
It is just happened that we are in a special CCA and now is reading week.
*There is a HALL OFFICE out there just next to dining hall.*

**After overworrying about nothing (quoted from my dear) finally i could stop thinking of it all the time.
为中华之崛起而读书中。

Me Is Happy=)

As the title says.

Hey, if you are reading

Actually i notice that the count of people who visit my blog is increasing....at first i thought very few ppl would come here de...
So tell me if you are here and leave a message to let me know.
In any form you like.

For today.
Reading weeks are the best weeks in the semester to me.
No need work. No need have meeting. No need be bothered by other stuff.
Hide myself in a small room just with the one I like and study and play and relax.

Yup i have to say reading week is kind of relax.

Oh. Will fly home on 13 May. So early compared to what i thought. Even before Hai leaves.
That's better for me.

Faith

是不是我很形式化？
I dunno I dunno...but i really would like to hear it, would like you to say it.

I need to feel secure...then i won't be afraid of anything...*Happy 4 months anniversary*

Dear Vivian

it is been a while since she came and left Singapore... Shasha, me and Vivian

We 5. forever 32=)
I miss you.

Gone

He is gone.
How can he do so?
I could not just say RIP as usual.
Sorry. I feel so sorry.
I dun feel like crying. I am just feeling so sorry.