tired of

I can easily get mad these days.
I just feel some complains are coming from nowhere.
No one is just simply better than the rest.
No one is just unlucky.

I am so tired of hearing the same stuff all over again.

Miss Home

Yesterday I went to meet an aunt from China.
She is a friend of my parents and brought some stuff for me from them.
I am so happy to feel the home.
Food, sweater and Jinan accent.

Just now Yun told he may come back to china next May.
It would be too good for me to believe.
I never thought I could be able to see him in person so easily.
I mean, It is supposed to be easy.
But in reality, I alwyas got the feel that it would be damn hard and wait for another one or two years to come true.

Hope is sometimes the best thing in the world ever.
Hence it could be the one which is so inducing.
The more you think about it, the more you scare it will slip sway.

ALL MY FAULT

I could not blame anyone else.
It's all my fault.
I am just sick of my lousy exam skills.
why am i keeping making silly mistakes while I can work out the most difficult questions. Then everything is wasted again. I can never get A.Even literally i should.

Today, most odd assessment center ever.
I sat in the small interview room alone writing 4 sets of tests and 3 essays and one translation in 5 hours. Cold and hungry. 930am-230pm.
no lunch. no water. no people to talk to.
Even the HR staff went for lunch and then came back, i was still writing my ass off.

IS it the way for them to test our endurance?

Oh Happy Thanksgiving.

Handsome Guys are all married.

I guess we are just too boring. one girl friend and I ranked the handsomeness of guys in one of our courses. 29 persons in all. we came out with top 3.
well, SG really does not have handsome guys.
I feel sorry but the top three are all Chinese.

Then I just found out that 2 of them are married already.
DULL！

the more weird thing is one of them is 27 already and our lecturer (which is No.3) is only 23.

Freedom.

In the preparation of American History exam, I perticularly paid attention to the revolution in 1980s.
A tumultous decade.
I decade of protests, dissents and divides.
People changed, America Changed, the world changed.

One important part is the value. The young adults, the college -aged people, just like us, were against almost all the estabished traditions and the values their parents were used to believe in.
The world sometimes say US is insane. its people are crazy.
BUt one thing never changes -- American people love freedom.
Freedom is the drive for everything.
when the society is sick, they take drugs, play the music very loud, dance around and build themselves a fantacy world where everything is beautiful.

But why I feel the people in that era were the purest ever. I just love the 1960s and the brilliant music and brilliant ideas. though there were wars, there were inequality.

Look now. People are getting weird.
I did not see freedom. I see they rush to the same destination, they speak the same language, they have the similar dream and want similar things.
I see people 's contempt on those real nice and beautiful behaviors. people's ignorance of the real problems out there in then world. I see people 's selfishness and narrowness. I see people too concentrate on who they are and their little square but not the whole picture.I see people's strong wish to successbut even donno what they really love to do for the rest of life. I see people gossip around. I see people being lazy and stupid.

I see myself one of them too.

I should , and have to , get out of here.

RIP Dr. Su

昨天下午的事情。震惊的消息。
虽然都曾调侃过SEP面试时他的刁难。但是我们都知道他是个好老师。
还有如果不是他 我这辈子物理这种学科也拿不了A。
每次看到他都是笑眯眯的 还有两个可爱的孩子

Thanks for giving me the once in life time SEP experience by sending me to the right place, pennstate. My life would changed a lot if i went to somewhere else.
We will miss you. and may peace with your family and friends .

人生苦短 如果2012真的是世界末日 如果身边的人或者自己都随时有可能离去
I dont want to think for long-term. just right at this minute.

I uninstalled PPS

I just did.
It wasted way too much time of mine.
But it feels great to watch Monica and Chandler finially got together:)
I promise I will never watch Friends until exams are over.

Life is tough.

PS : since when people started not to send confirmation email any more?
It sucks!

Fake Plastic Trees

Today accidentally heard 杨乃文's verision of Fake Plastic Trees.
All time classic.

"Oh my fake plastic love.
If I could just turn and run."

Today after an interview.during which i was asked to write an essay...
damn damn damn.
I was like a dumb sitting there and did not know waht to write.
on the bus back home, I almost passed by all the companies i have applied to.
even the restaurant taht I went for casting.
Singapore is just too small.

I so know what I want.

Cat Cafe

我被带去过一次。传说中的猫店。
http://www.catsocrates.com.sg/
在他们的网站上逛了一个多小时。
这样的店在国内可能遍地都是。可是新加坡也许只有一家。
所以更加觉得珍贵。

我想要，并且应该会定做一个表。
It gonna be fun.

今天做了很懊悔的一件事情。
wanna let you know that I love you no matter what . even you are a person who is very last minute, dont have any plans, don't study like I do, don't go to class every day like I do. that's you. because that's you.

Such a fool

Today I behaved like an idiot . twice.
I made a big screw up during my most important interview so far.
I hate myself for being stupid like that.

Sigh. I don't know when the next opportunity will come...i blow off this one..but will definitely not do that again.
Hopefully.

MJ MJ

I am so in love with this man.
The movie is on youtube so i rewatched it again.
He still sounds so beautiful and moves like 20 years old.
After so much tortures by the stupid people, he is still so forgiving and graceful.

There will be no other man like him.never ever.
no one can move like he does...no one can sing like he does...

the world should be ashamed by what they have done.

又见炊烟

absolutely的愉悦。最近。
一直以来认为自己算是活得比较自我的人。
难免有时落俗的去进行任何人的比较。但是幸好不是一直。
又到了这个时候。很多人挤在一起。去一个地方。头破血流。
我承认自己是个假装高尚的人。看到独木桥就绕路而行并且自我安慰。
As if I will be the one who is better off.

我仍然想要的是一幢小房子 炊烟升起

对这个城市有太多的厌倦和厌恶。

昨天在canteen见到一个人操着一口黑人口音。
好听的稀里哗啦。
我再也不能说singlish了.I am trying my very best.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Life should be easy. why people begin to bring pressure and panic and stress to their lives.

be yourself

Dont doubt who you are just because of others.
You have chosen a different way.
No one is always better than others.
Just be happy and be yourself alright

smile.

Smile

Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky You'll get by...
If you smile
With your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
if you'll just...
Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you'll just...

Smile.

We had him.

He was the biggest star in the world.
He was a brother, son, father , and a friend.
For us , he was an icon, inspiration, and forever hero.
I could not come out with some great speeches like them in the memorial.
But we can feel it for every single words they said.

We miss him. For his music, his movement, his pose, his talent, moreoever, for who he is, what he has been through, and the love he kept giving.
Before all his personality, he is a wonderful and nice person at first.

1977-We lost Elvis
1980-We lost John Lennon
2009-we loose Michael Jackson

I dont really understand the pain of the previous two.
But this one I do.

If he was still with us now, that would be the greatest concert ever, perfect last curtain call. In the movie he was so shinning, moving like a young man, singing with all of his passion, inspirating every single one of us.

AJ and I could not stand up and leave even the movie was over. We could only sit and look at the screen until all the lights were on and cry. and music stopped forever.
Could not believe this is the end. This is it.

Michael , Why didn't you stay.