choice

its been a tough week. a lot of struggles and nightmares.
Its never easy to make a big decision. I am still not sure whether i am doing the right thing. but i guess good or bad, everything we do is our best choice that that moment.

All those complications. all those worries. all those what-ifs.

Just when you think something that can never happen to you, it happened.

I know my decision changed my life forever, yea its that big. But i have to do it. I have to do it fast. I cant stand another day just sitting there and thinking what i should do.

Then i heard about my grandma's surgery. Its just another upset thing in this week. great. Saturday is crucial. I need to go through the toughest part in order to move on. but i dunno how painful it will be , and how emotional i will get after that.

Then I think about the blind lady in the bus. maybe my life is 100 times better hers already. this small change shouldnt make me so down while she is smiling all the time.

I should be brave. I shouldnt be scared . Everyone can do it so can I .

I will be there and get it done. what i have lost, is something that we can never see, never get to know, or forever regret about .

But i guess we have to stick to the plan. There are prices to pay.

I love you. Please forgive me.