dream

If you tell me your dream is to work in wall street. I will say nothing but laugh.
If you tell me your dream is to have your own portfolio and be good at it. I will say nothing but respect that.
If you tell me your dream is to live happily without worrying about money. being banker is just a job. I will give you a big smile and say "i understand".

choice

its been a tough week. a lot of struggles and nightmares.
Its never easy to make a big decision. I am still not sure whether i am doing the right thing. but i guess good or bad, everything we do is our best choice that that moment.

All those complications. all those worries. all those what-ifs.

Just when you think something that can never happen to you, it happened.

I know my decision changed my life forever, yea its that big. But i have to do it. I have to do it fast. I cant stand another day just sitting there and thinking what i should do.

Then i heard about my grandma's surgery. Its just another upset thing in this week. great. Saturday is crucial. I need to go through the toughest part in order to move on. but i dunno how painful it will be , and how emotional i will get after that.

Then I think about the blind lady in the bus. maybe my life is 100 times better hers already. this small change shouldnt make me so down while she is smiling all the time.

I should be brave. I shouldnt be scared . Everyone can do it so can I .

I will be there and get it done. what i have lost, is something that we can never see, never get to know, or forever regret about .

But i guess we have to stick to the plan. There are prices to pay.

I love you. Please forgive me.

Another busy week just ended

Exam + Homework + Teaching + Grading.
Typical busy week of a TA.

These 2 years will be such an experience for me. Life is never bored.
Sometimes I really feel that I hate teaching so much. I had to drag myself to the classroom and tried my very best to stay calm and passionate. But sometimes when you see you did get to help a student to understand stuff, you did make an impact by delivering the message in a good way, you will see what you do is actually meaningful.

Meaningful - this is something that I cannot feel for the entire year when i was working. Student's smile can light up your day, a student's frustration can make you feel down too.
I like to help those kids who care. and I hate to go to the lab that most of them are not listening. But as long as there is one person who is still paying attention, i guess i should just hold on and do the best i can.

Sick of this

I am sick of people complaining.

If you want something, go and get it.
If you want to come to the states, then get your head down and start to prepare yourself.
If you want a good job, learn more and send resumes with a good attitude.
If you want a relationship, don't let your chance go by.

You are not that excellent, why you expect you are the center of the world and you can get whatever you want. living in your own little world may make you unique, but cannot make you adaptable. There is a REAL world out there, money wont come easy, job wont come easy, good friends wont come easy. Passion cannot be the only tool.

stop complaining and do something. please.

not important

Sometimes you are just not that important.
suck it up and get over it.
you want his full attention but in the end you should be already happy if you can get 50%.
who you really are, what is on your mind? no one give a damn. so get a life.

I don't want to be the one always trying and saying sorry.
Yes everyone can make mistakes. Everyone may over-react.
But I deserve to be heard.

if a problem is not solved, it will be there forever.

Why guys always have this serious communication problem? They say women are weird but if you never say , how can you expect us to understand what you mean.
We may talk a lot, it's just because you never listen, never respond.

as if what we were saying is not important at all.

Work or Study

If you ask me the differences between now and one year ago:
1) I am much poorer.
2) I am living in a better apartment
3) I wake up at 8 instead of 6
4) I used to shop every week. This is not true any more.
5) Every day is a presentation day now. AWWWWW

Just another ordinary day

out of suddenly , i found how lucky i am .
we were relaxing at home in this saturday afternoon while people camping outside of our window for the big game day. I find a quiet place in my heart.

I am blessed to have what i have now. I know how hard these 3 years were and how hard we fight to get here. I went to all these troubles and flied from the other side of the earth to start the life i have now. it is going good and i dont want to screw it up.

I am still learning how to handle everything. just give me a little bit more time.

Lovely days

I can always put a smile on my face.
I can always feel happy. because there is something exciting going on.
as long as I don't over think of it.

I won't ever ask for more than that.

detour

just about when you thought you know what is going on. just about when you thought you get everything under control. just about when you thought you got perfect balance.

there must be something that get you totally unprepared.

You try to hold it but its just not easy.

on the road

There are so many beautiful views on the road. sometimes you just wanna stop and have a long stay. but afterall, you need to know where you are heading to, where is your destination.